Bad Joke Machine

Question: What causes the ocean to roar?

Answer: It has a fog in its throat. 

Question: Why don't they show lightning on TV?

Answer: It's too shocking. 

Question: What is super important when walking your Chihuahua in a tropical storm?

Answer: A long, long leash. 

Question: Why do they say, "It's raining cats and dogs?"

Answer: To keep you from stepping in a poodle. 

Question: When do they say, "It's raining chickens and ducks?"

Answer: When there is really, really fowl weather. 

Question: What did the hurricane say to the weather satellite?

Answer: "I have my eye on you." 

Question: How do you predict rain in Seattle?

Answer: If you can't see the Space Needle; it's raining. If you can see the Space Needle; it's about to rain. 

Question: What's faster than a slow crutch?

Answer: A hurri-cane. 

Question: Where does a tropical storm sleep?

Answer: In a water bed. 

Question: Why doesn't a GOES environmental satellite eat too much candy?

Answer: It doesn't want to spoil its launch time. 

Question: How is a GOES environmental satellite like presents at a birthday party?

Answer: They are both out of this world. 

Question: How do we know the ocean likes the GOES environmental satellite a lot?

Answer: The ocean waves at it. 

Question: What goes up at the science research station when the rain comes down?

Answer: Umbrellas. 

Question: Where do NOAA scientists store their cold weather research data?

Answer: In a snow bank. 

Question: Why don't older people like jokes about snow?

Answer: It's just a lot of skid stuff. 

Question: Why can't you rely on snow during the winter holidays?

Answer: Because it's so flaky! 

Question: Why did the baker work outside on cold nights?

Answer: So he wouldn't have to frost the cakes. 

Question: What was the meteorologist's favorite frozen dessert?

Answer: An isobar. 

Question: Why put a weather station at the top of a tower?

Answer: So meteorologists can climate. 

Question: What did the rain storm say to the grocery store?

Answer: I'm going to flood the market. 

Question: What was the weather-man's style of fly fishing?

Answer: He was a four-caster. 

Question: How did the ski instructor survive an early spring?

Answer: He had put money into a slush fund. 

Question: What makes birds going south for the winter fly at a safe speed?

Answer: Goose bumps. 

Question: What did the national park ranger use to count grizzlies?

Answer: A bear-ometer. 

Question: What did the special-of-the-day sign at the Mexican restaurant say?

Answer: Chile today. Hot tamale.